Saying “thank you.”

I’m going to admit something right now that most authors won’t say out loud. It’s bad form, when you’re supposed to keep a positive face on everything and always be bright, be chipper, be happy, and sweep people up in your enthusiasm.


I fucking hate self-promotion.

I do. And I’m not the only author who does, but I doubt you’ll get many to admit it. Fuck me for being honest, I guess. Being human. I hate standing up there shouting “buy my shite!” like a snake oil hawker at a fair. I hate how false it feels. How mercenary. Because here’s the thing:

grumpynoYou always hear that as an author, the money is in making connections via social media. In building your platform, your audience, your network. But the problem is, when I come on social media it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like meeting people. It feels like making friends. It feels like learning things about them and having fun in-jokes and little snafus and those whispers behind the curtain in DM. It feels like being happy to see someone who always makes me laugh; like enjoying making other people laugh even when I’m being Mr. Grumpy Cat; like feeling like a total dork when Facebook tells me it’s their birthday and I feel daft posting on their timeline but I do it anyway because those things matter. It feels like connecting with actual individuals, valuable and unique human beings, instead of just amassing numbers.

So when I turn around and start promoting myself, it feels like I’m commoditizing those friendships, using them, taking advantage. And it feels cheap. And I don’t fucking like it, because the last thing I’d ever want to do is make the friendships I’ve made over the last year feel like less than what they are.

Well, that, and it’s just buggering embarrassing making a dancing monkey out of myself. And you know how I feel about those fucking exclamation points.

A-Second-Chance-at-Paris-altIf you’re reading this, I’d say you know that I released a book today. My first, technically, if you don’t count giving away ZDE or the short story in Winter RainA Second Chance at Paris. It’s been a long year with many ups and downs, some hard decisions, one terrifying choice to jump off the cliff of self-publishing and hope the book was strong enough to catch me on my way down. And all those people that I’ve met over the past year were there today, as I celebrated release day. And even when I was posting quotes and teaser images, excerpts from reviews, links…I didn’t feel like I was self-promoting. I didn’t feel like I was shouting from a mountaintop into empty air. I felt like I was among friends at a party. Friends who were just as excited as I was; friends who caught me up in their own enthusiasm to help me get past my sheer nerves and nail-biting to just enjoy the day.

Friends who made this day special, instead of just one author selling snake oil at the top of his lungs and trying not to feel like he was naked on stage.

It’s meant a lot to me, seeing this through to final publication and bringing a book I love to life. Every little milestone has brought a flush of contentment and satisfaction, from finishing stages of edits to designing the cover to seeing this book packaged up and ready to go to retailers in its final form. And with every step that I’ve celebrated, those friends have been there with me, celebrating with me, encouraging me. And that’s touched me. Deeply.

…don’t go there, you pervs. Just don’t.

You have never been commodities to me. You’ve never been a platform for me to stand on to lift myself up. You’re more than just numbers.

You turned this day into something amazing. You’re amazing.

And for that, I thank you from the bottom of my fucked-up, grouchy little heart.


The Crow City Series now has a new cover set – dark, sleek, and just in time for the latest book in the series. See the full series covers here.

Judging yourself? Feeling down on your writing? Over-comparing until you work yourself into a hole and can’t get out? Here are a few reminders to help you breathe and refocus.

Autum6x9AUTUMN (CROW CITY #2.75)
The latest installment in the Crow City series is here – with series favorites Walford Gallifrey and Joseph Armitage returning in a poignant story of reconciliation and newfound love in the first contemporary M/M in the Crow City Series.

7 thoughts on “Saying “thank you.”

  1. There’s the grumpy cat I know and love. I’d say I get it, but I have no idea what this feels like. I just know it’s been an honor to get to know you this past year and watch your self-publishing adventure. Whether we were laughing publicly or privately, it’s been a fun ride. I’m so proud of you! And no worries. You don’t have to be cheery. We can do that for you! <3 Go Cole!

  2. Thanks for this post Cole! We’ve been Twitter friends since Logan Patricks first mentioned you to me as a male writer trying to break into the romance world early last year. Glad to have been a part of your first forays into publishing your stories and I’m so happy for you finally getting them out into the world! Looking forward to celebrating your successes with you!

  3. OMG. You. Always. Do. This. To. Me. Every time I read your words I wish I was standing next to you, so I could just give you a giant hug. Your authenticity inevitably leaves me breathless, and when you entwined it, with your sincere words visibly spoken from your beautiful grouchy little heart, aside from earning my immediately admiration, you also bring my friendship into total submission. You Cole… just by being yourself inspire us to desire your success as if it were actually our own. Also, an spontaneous urge within, to walk beside you in this wonderful journey awaiting for you. Even when you encounter bumps along your path, you will always have a pair of hands to choose from to pull you ahead. I truly believe that some of the friends you have being blessed and privilege with, are as certified as it gets with a lifetime guarantee…and apparently so it is your authenticity. May your success comes in abundance… and unexpected obstacles… into rapidly experiences leaned. Congratulation

  4. Wouldn’t have been anywhere else <3 Anyway, *clears throat*, good game, well done, over-the-moon for you and proud of you. And you know exactly what that means, you being fluent in Nic-speak.

  5. Cole! Such wonderful words! And, you’re more than welcome! It’s been almost a year since we met on Twitter. I think it was via Gina Maxwell and Entangled Pub. Lots of crabby, growly, even grumpy days. And even if our moods match, you still are very open and approachable, supportive and sassy (I know, guys aren’t sassy but sometimes it fits!). You lift up others as I hope that we do you–that is what friends are for. So happy to support your craft! The beautiful words are in you and a part of you and so brilliantly written down! It’s a pleasure to know you and a million times over, support and promote your work! Congrats!

  6. Your Twitter chatter makes us laugh out loud and your writing just rocks 🙂 Congrats on the release of A Second Chance At Paris Cole 🙂

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